Birth and an introduction:

Writing is a lot like childbirth. Starting with an idea in your head that begins to grow and move. Gaining in size and sentience, becoming something of its very own. It becomes heavy, a beautiful burden that the writer enjoys each flutter and hiccup of. Sometimes.., often… along with growth come aches and pains.

Sometimes you begin to think yourself a bit ridiculous. (ha. Sometimes!?) I know nothing. Why does my idea matter?  Why should I birth this thought into more? Why should I allow it growth? Should I continue to sustain it? Inevitably though, you realize you love it, this idea. You struggle to understand it. Ache for this thing, ache for it to have life, ache for it to breathe on its own, ache for it to BE.

Because its pretty..and one of my favourite spots to write.

I suppose I should tell you more about myself, but sometimes I’m not even sure how to introduce myself. I carry many names; Momma (probably my favourite), Courtney (not always my favourite – sorry, Mom!), Daughter, Sister, Jesus-follower, Worshipper (most passionate), Nerd (I wear this one with pride!), Canadian, Runner, and Baker. I am a lover of cupcakes (with sprinkles, y’all), Netflix, a good americano misto, books, wine and cup of tea (in that order generally).

Raised a pastor’s daughter (pk’s represent!), I love Jesus, and struggle to love the church. I am often still questioning and figuring out what I believe about God, and reconciling my past experiences with my now, and wishing I could consult with God about my future (just a bit, possibly in HD with surround sound?). I live my life very much in the spaces and grey areas – a passionate believer in love and the God of it. Never quite fitting in anyone’s box I am learning that I am made exactly as I ought to be – with BIG feelings, lots of words, and more noise than should probably come out of a 5’4”, 30 year old, mom to 3 tiny humans.

I suppose this is a welcome to my birthing room, the place I will allow my thoughts and ideas room to germinate, grow and to become something. Historically birthing rooms were sacred spaces – filled with beauty, pain, work, joy and excitement and sometimes even sadness, my heart is so much that this space would be the same. There is something in the act of birthing that changes you, on every level, mind, soul, body and spirit, and I find often words can do the same; and here are mine, without apology but with much trepidation.  

xo- Courtney